Have you ever been so mad that you could just spit? That’s like really, really mad.

It doesn’t feel good. In fact, even if you win the argument, it may leave you feeling horrible. And then you walk around for the next few hours with this conversation in your head. You know what I mean.

You’re still arguing with the person who is not there.

You may be justifying what you said, how you said it, or even why you said it. If you would catch your image in the mirror, you may even look angry. Yes, two or three hours later. Why do we do this? Why do we allow someone else to get under our skin, to irritate the heck out of us, to ruin our day, and to leave us grouchy with everyone who comes in contact with us long after it’s all over?

We know all about mind over matter, positive thinking, choose happy, and right now none of that matters. We cannot get to that place because we are stuck in our conflict.

What if? What if the other person involved wasn’t all bad? What if they didn’t do anything wrong? What if this wasn’t even about them?

They may have triggered you with something they said or something they did. That still doesn’t make it about them. Consider this. What if you are in conflict with yourself? Let me ask again. What if you are in conflict with yourself and they just happened to be in your space at the wrong time? When our conflict is internal, it has nowhere to go. When this happens, it can seem very normal that it infiltrates our thoughts and feelings. In the natural tendency that follows, this internal conflict comes out through our actions and behaviors. Imagine yourself going into the situation with a loved one while you are in internal conflict. You may be filled with anxiety, stress, fear, or anger.

In this state of heavy emotion, it is almost impossible to make decisions that will result in positive outcomes. This never gives us the results we desire.

So, the next time it seems like you’re in conflict with someone—partner, child, parent, boss, neighbor, coworker– it may be helpful to stop and do an internal check. Where are you not speaking your truth? Whose expectations are you trying to reach? Who may you be comparing yourself to? Where are you not appreciating yourself? How are you not taking care of your own needs? What is disappointing you? Who is disappointing you? Are your expectations for them realistic? Where do you need support? Can you ask for it? Do you believe in the divine radiant source that flows through you? Do you know that you are exactly where you need to be, right here, right now?

If you are a caregiver, take your yourself. Nourish yourself. Replenish yourself. Rest when you need it. Identify and learn to win these internal conflicts and there will be less conflicts with the other people in your life.

Breathe in, Breathe out, Breathe in, Breathe out. You are powerful beyond belief. Feel it. When ‘who you are’ and ‘what you do’ are in alignment, miracles just flow through you. Allow them to flow.

Making a Difference—one breath at a time and one miracle at a time.