Everyone around you is putting up holiday decorations, playing cheerful music, and full of excitement about the upcoming holidays. You want them all to just plain go away.
Your heart is breaking, your tears are flowing, and your fears are growing.
How can you be happy when the person you love most is facing their final days? You have so many things to do while you still can.
You’re trying to make this crazy life seem normal for your children, you still need to get up and go to work every day, and now you’re juggling schedules with nurses, clinics, doctors, and soon hospice al staff. Some days you feel as though you cannot even breathe. you want to wake up to a normal day.
Today you don’t even remember what a normal day feels like. Since you’ve gotten the news of this terminal disease, the whole family has been in turmoil. You know that time is limited. There are so many things to say, and yet you’re afraid to say them for fear it may bring the impending death earlier.
You know you and the children need rest and healthy nourishment even though it’s easy to forget when your mind is bouncing in so many directions.
For right now focus on these 3 tips:
- Breathe. Focus on one task at a time. Just one.
- Pay attention to those things you can control and let go of everything else.
- Accept help. Know that you do not have to do it all alone. Some things you don’t have to do it all. This may be the year when you don’t put up a Christmas tree, lights, or any holiday decorations. You may decide not to make traditional cookies and candies. You may choose to forgo holiday celebrations both with work and family. Know that it’s okay. Spend this time in whatever feels good and natural to you and to your family.
There is no right way to do death. And there is no wrong way.
These final days are precious and the more you can slow down and absorb the moments, the easier it will be for all of you to create moments that matter with the people that matter while you still can.
When you need some extra support don’t hesitate to reach out to me here or bring me home in the form of my book “I’m Sorry, I Love You, Goodbye” where I share many tips and perspectives on the difficulties of letting go of our loved ones.